How Can I Believe In You?

I don't know why I believe in God: convenience, comfort, because I have nothing better do do or because I really believe in an omnipresent being who watches over us. Though I do not regularly attend church, like the faithful Catholic I was raised to be, I pray before bed, I say an Our Father when I see a soldier at the airport or hear sirens. I think it's for a sense of comfort, a feeling that I make a difference. But I believe in God, Jesus, heaven & hell, though I don't think anyone goes to the latter. Everyone has some good in them - they believe that what they are doing is right.

Though I have to agree with the song How Can I Believe In You by the Good Natured. "I once knew a man, he drew a picture of a million faces and all of them were sad... Fight until the children cry, babies wet and aging die - now look what you've done. When I look at this view, how can I believe in you?"* I mean, with the world how it is, it's hard to hold onto my faith. But it's not like it helps to not believe. It passes the time, it makes me feel safe.

By the way, sorry for all the non-religious people out there who are bored by this (those who read it, anyway, the few that are out there). 

I don't know, but I have to hope there's an after life. 

I think that we are reincarnated till we've had enough of life and learned our lessons, then we go to heaven.

I hope so. I hope there's someone out there, because otherwise, things aren't looking good for us.

*I'm not sure if those are the correct lyrics, correct me if I'm wrong, please.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Listen to This.

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday - you did not accomplish much, but you didn't die this year, and that's enough. Happy birthday - what have you done that matters? Happy birthday - you're starting to get fatter. Happy birthday - you wish you had more money. Happy birthday - your life's so sad it's funny. Happy birthday - how much more can you take? But your friends are all hungry, so just cut the stupid cake!

Yeah, for my birthday, I got 39 dollars and some yarn. But that's okay, because...

Reasons Why Today Was Perfect

1. The sun was out.

2. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom.

3. It was my birthday, which is always exciting.

4. I got three cakes - chocolate, Funfetti and carrot. Yum.

5. I painted my room: bright, bright teal with chalkboard on one wall - which I happily decorated today. Pictures soon. And bright colors brighten the day.

6. I got back from a fabulous 10-day cruise yesterday and got a lot of sleep, which was nice. Pictures soon too. (Camera cord has disappeared, can't load my pictures just yet.)

7. I had a really relaxing day.

8. My brother gave me a hilarious card and introduced me to that song "Listen to This" up there.

9. I had a caramelized onion tart, some watermelon and pineapple and garlic bread for dinner.

10. I saved 100 square feet of rainforest today, thanks to Tropicana.

Which brings me to an important point: the environment. I've been watching these National Geographic (a magazine that depresses me every time I read it...) "Aftermath: Population Zero" videos. They're pretty saddening - the impact that humans have on the Earth would last for more than 250 years, if all of us vanished immediately*. Whenever I hear about the environment, it makes me ultimately sad. When I'm old, will I be able to look out my window and see the sky? In 40 years, will I be able to walk outside and feel the breeze and fresh air and hear the birds and see the trees. And what makes me feel even worse is that there isn't much I can do about it. I recycle, compost, all of that. But I feel so insignificant - like, really, how can I make a difference? 

But I will try.

Yeah, that's enough of my cheesy-ness for the day. Or not, maybe I'll inspire myself with a list of things I love. That would brighten my now environmentally-dulled mood.

Oh, and check out this blog - it's my cousin's. She's "Lewa" though she doesn't often post, but I love it. [ http://fashionconfectionairy.weebly.com/ ]

*I used to be terrified - ages 8-9, I think - that I would wake up and be the only person left on Earth. It freaked me out... I always slept with my parents so that they wouldn't disappear in my sleep. Because what if you woke up and were the only one left? I wouldn't be able to take it. 

Just Another Note...

Being sick means I have a lot of time on my hands. So I just wanted to mention...

Since I'm redecorating my room, I've been looking for paintings or photographs to hang up. And I've been following the "Bliss" blog, by Mrs. French, for sometime now, and I just wanted to point it out.

I have fallen in love with these photos. I want to buy every single one - I honestly cannot choose at all, I'm so undecided! But they're seriously gorgeous. 

Here's her blog.

Here's some of her pictures.

And here's the rest.

Both of the shops use Paypal. 

Thanks!

Summer Sickness

It's April!

I can't believe it's already April! (April and it's snowing as I write this. Thanks again, Global Warming.) It seems like just yesterday it was Christmas and now it's almost summer!

Speaking of which, I would play an April Fools trick, but unfortunately I'm not that creative and can't think of one. Oh, well. 

And I'm so sorry I haven't posted. I've been so busy lately and I just didn't have time. But I'm back and I'm planning on staying.

So I got the flu. That's why I'm here, writing this. I should be better soon, though, with the cure my mother taught me - rest, alternating between Vitamin Water and two bottles of 7up and a 6 pack of Cup Noodles will cure anything. It really does make you feel better. I think most of it's the resting, though.

So, what else has happened since January? 

This was a long time ago, but I'll write about it now. The Monday before Christmas, my dog Ghana passed away. She was seven years old and a Greyhound/German Shepherd mix we adopted from the pound. She died of unexpected cancer; the night she was diagnosed, she was put down. Ghana was intelligent, friendly, loving and loyal. No other dog will ever take her place. 

And now, onto happier news. I finally published my photo book on Shutterfly - here's a few of my favorite pictures from it. I know there's quite a few... Sorry about that.

 

Christmas.

A tree fell down due to the wind storms. Thanks Comcast - no internet or television for over a week. That wasn't exactly the best situation.

c h a n g e :

Change: | CH anj |

verb

1 make or become different

- alter in terms of: america began to change shape

noun

1 the act or instance of becoming different : the change from a society within an economic depression to a respected society.

- the substitution of one thing for another: a change of presidency

- a new or refreshingly different experience: Obama makes an interesting change from president Bush

An excerpt from -- 

Barack Obama: A New Era

A collection of quotes and sayings from the inauguration of the first African-American and forty fourth president of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama.

Ballot over bullet -

a more just, a more healthy nation.

History is your story,

faithful to the ideals,

they will be met.

Forty-four American citizens,

we, the people,

this generation of Americans,

humbled by the task before us.

Prosperity and the still waters of peace,

or 

gathering clouds, raging storms,

subjects of data and statistics

strangled our politics.

The challenges we face are real -

we have chosen hope over fear.

The time has come,

all are equal, all deserve a chance.

2009!

 

It's 2009 !

First of all, I'm sorry I haven't posted - I'm sure no one reads this, but it's still nice to try - in such a long time. I've been so overwhelmed, and I just haven't had the time! Secondly, I cannot believe it's 2009. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were all sitting down to our 2007 dinner tables, and then getting excited for 2008? It's crazy how fast time passes - and that is my greatest fear. That my time on this Earth will go by so quickly that none will remember me. I don't mean that no one will remember me - I'll have friends (not at the rate things are going now, though) - I just mean that my life won't have impacted anything. I won't have made a difference in the world. It's already 2009 and does anyone know my name? I didn't think so. Which is the point I'm trying to make - though I may not be clear and I may be complicating things. All I want my gravestone to say (aside from my name, date of birth and date of death) is She Was Here, and All She Wanted Was To Be Remembered. And then, I would like it to say: Looking past the riverbed, or running past the creek, I have always been a wander'r, never finding what I seek. I wrote that poem in second grade. Deep - right? 

So, I will come up with something to write about soon - I've been a bit brain dead lately. I got back my photos from my photography class, and I really liked some of them! To bad they weren't digital, or I'd share. I finally gave my brother his present - a framed selection of two photos from the day he went parasailing. One is a gray/tealy colored sky - the black and white film I was using was hinted green... hm. - with just his black parasailing silhouette and the other is the Parasailing sign with a fountain. I'll have to upload my favorite pictures I've taken in the past months soon - they're not great, but they're not awful.

And... I got a new camera! I know I already mentioned this, but it's a Nikon Coolpix - one of the really nice manual/digital ones. Doesn't make sense, I know. But it's great. I love it.

Thanks so much for reading, even if you didn't.

PS: Oh, and I would like to make a kind of random, peculiar statement. To all the people I will not meet in this lifetime, I wish you all a prosperous, long, happiness filled life. Make the best of it, make every second last, and may joy, friendship, love and compassion follow you no matter how far from home you travel. Know that no matter what you do, where you come from, where you're going and why you want to get there - no matter who you are - someone loves you. Somebody out there loves you. Remember that, every day, no matter how hard things are going. You are loved.